Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs

HONOLULU–In an announcement with grave implications for the primacy of the species of man, marine biologists reported Monday that dolphins, or family Delphinidae, have evolved opposable thumbs on their pectoral fins.”I believe I speak for the entire human race when I say, ‘Holy fuck,'” said Dr. James Aoki. “That’s it for us monkeys.”

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